The Delivery Job

Someday, I’ll look back on this time with a hazy nostalgia. Until then, it sucks.

I work two “jobs” in Los Angeles. One, which I’ve already posted about, involves transcribing reality television for dubbing scripts.

The other involves an even greater quieting of my pride. I work as a Internet Grocery Delivery Girl. For six-to-eight hours at a time, I drive around Los Angeles with a car full of expensive food and drinks, delivering to the very rich or very old. I live on tips. And though you may think that tipping is a given when dealing with the delivery industry, it is not. A surprising portion of people won’t hand over a dollar after I’ve lugged three gallons of drinking-water up their stairs with an armful of cat-food and sandwiches tied to my elbows. Some of these people don’t even say, “Thanks.” They close their door, and go back to being awful in private.

Who the hell are these people? There doesn’t seem to be a common thread between them. They can be old or young, rich or poor; they just weren’t raised to tip or say thanks. I’ve even had a guy short-change me! Never in my life have I short-changed someone, and only once or twice have I refused to tip, and this was in response to service, not a life policy. I simply can’t believe there are people who don’t tip. But there are.

Now, in an effort to stave off suicide, I’ve framed my deliveries as a sort-of real life Kiki’s Delivery Service; I’m not actually delivering, I’m method-reenacting. Like Rachel, who has mentioned “playing dress-up” to describe her detachment to her life as a teacher, I am removed from my actual identity as a delivery-girl, and am pretending instead. If I really believed that I had gone to Northwestern and studied so hard only to end up delivering groceries, I’m certain I’d have a breakdown and head off a bridge somewhere.

In other news, Josh Kushins’ short starring Scott Speiser and Dan Oster premiered at channel101 last night. It’s Superman and Bizzaro as Lenny and George, in Of Mice and Men. I’m stupidly proud of him, and hope that the series gets extended so that he can shoot his Incredible Hulk piece with Matt McKenna doing Streetcar Named Desire. For more info, check out Channel101.com, and see what I’m so obtusely talking about.

Los Angeles is cool and sunny, and I wish I had enough money to buy a slew of T-shirts, as well as a new battery for my laptop. That’s life.

Series Finished: Paradise Kiss!

The company that made Honey and Clover followed up with this season’s fashion anime, Paradise Kiss. Short but sweet, ParaKiss can be blamed for my sudden need to own a sewing machine. See, it follows the story of a group of young wanna-be fashion designers. It’s a romantic, simple anime, decorated with stunning animation and queer edits.

It ended after only 12 episodes, and though I love the show, I can’t imagine it will soak into my subconscious the way Honey and Clover did. I guess I write about it only to mark that today was the day I finished it. Still, it did introduce me to Tommy February6, one of my new favorite jPop singers. For more on who she is, go to: Tommy February 6 at Wikipedia.

In other news, last night I did my first UCB show. That is to say, I was a part of my first show at UCB that wasn’t an Ex-Boom show. It was called Three Dollar Bill. It was a gay/gay-friendly performance showcase…that MTV ended up coming to. They were scouting for new talent for their gay network, Logo. Suzi and I performed the original draft of Be Skeptical, and it met with huge response. For those that have seen it before, remember dropping the umbrella? It almost destroyed the song; the laughter in the sold-out crowd was so loud I couldn’t hear the music! I was so nervous before it began, since none of the other material in the show seemed similar to my campy, vulgar musical number. But after the show, one of the casting directors from Logo found me backstage — she had seen me in ‘99 in Chicago. Her name was Blair — she used to work for Second City, but frequented Improv Olympic and caught a few of my shows. Small world. I mean, I guess it’s not. She was a comedian, after all, and there aren’t that many places where we work.

I wish I could be hopeful about moments like this, where a casting director talks to me about my piece, or knows me from somewhere else, but to be honest, I’m worn out from all the times it happens and leads to nothing. Other than Boom…err, and Duece Bigalow 2, there’s nothing I can point to in my comedy-life where I was cast in something that paid me. Make no mistake; I love performing, and I do it because I want to say something, or make people laugh. But whenever I’m confronted with the idea that it could be a Job, I get tense. In a way, I wish I could be told whether I’d ever get money for it again, so that I could simply relax and do shows, as opposed to wondering if what I’ve just said after a show was going to get me a job or not.

Tim writes for Gamer’s Quarter

One of the real celebrities of the New Games Journalism scene is this guy Tim (108). His gaming articles and internet writing have gotten him a job at Sony, Japan. He lives a full and varied life, and makes enough money to get a huge apartment in Tokyo. I say this to serve as his credentials, before I send you off to his site: LargePrimeNumbers.

I read him because of Insert Credit, and The Gamer’s Quarter. Today, I began to read him because of him. His entry today (which I suggest everyone who has ever been mad at the internet, read) is about an email that he receives from a kid somewhere out there in America. And the post contains his reply, and then The Mother’s Reply. It’s a great read, really. Go.

no e in

Anime, more than any other art form I’ve encountered, has harnessed the power of moments. In fact, animation, in general, has the unique capacity to be completely constructed of choices. Everything on screen is a choice in Animation. The character design, the colors, the framing, the duration of a shot — everything is placed for effect and meaning. Or lack thereof. A moment in animation achieves a greater consciousness than any other type of art. Moments in live action film are often mostly-harnessed chaos. Sure, the actors are directed, the backgrounds set, the weather can even be changed — but with the exception of Ridley Scott, usually a film is captured randomness. Painting can’t control what you hear, nor how long you look at it. Video games are subject to the whims of the Player, and radio leaves your eyes wandering, effectively informing the sounds with what you happen to be looking at.

Animation is choice.

And Anime is the best of animation.

This being said, there are moments in Anime which stand above all others as shrines to choice. Shinji in the Sea of Dirac. Hitomi taking Van’s hand on the track field. Utena’s Sword falling from the heavens into Juri’s rose. The final 20 seconds of Honey and Clover. The final 30 seconds of Saikano. Edward Elric screaming for his brother’s return. Naruto giving the thumbs up to Sakura for the last time, or Lee taking off his restraints. Kenshin and Saito. These are moments in which every choice is in perfect sync. The sound, the pace, the composition — all of the choices harmonize, and the resonance becomes a perfect moment.

Today, in Noein, I got another moment.

Episode 7’s final 10 minutes are astounding. Sometimes, when watching anime, I begin to fear that I’m becoming desensitized to it; that it is becoming a prerequisite as opposed to an end. Then I get something like Noein, and I’m humbled by the clear and perfect choices. Fub: Watch This When It All Comes Out. You have to; you’re my only anime friend. I really hope you like it. At least through episode 7, it’s really great.

In other news, Jim and I are now a part of the Upright Citizens Brigade. Last night, we were cast on a harold team there, after call-backs. Nic Wiger is also on the team, and furthermore, I get to perform with the aforementioned Paul Rust. If his Improv is half as good as his sketch, he’ll be a joy to work with. Our first show is in a couple of weeks. By then, I’ll have my camera and maybe I’ll be able to post a bit of the show.

Headshots and Comedy

For those interested in seeing ALL of the headshots taken of me by Dana Patrick, please head to this link and view them at Flickr.com.

If there are shots there that you like more than the ones I’ve posted here, please add a comment to the picture! There are 102 pics there, so it’s not easy going, but your feedback will be appriciated dearly.

In other news, I’ve moved to the Saturday show at Ultimate Improv. Workshop was quite wonderful this week, as was the early Saturday show I got to do. Ultimate doesn’t feature the frightening, cutting-edge content it used to, but the theater is still overflowing with talent. I am happy to be back there.

If you want to really see something that makes me laugh, go to El Cid (Sunset Blvd, Los Feliz) on Monday Nights at 9:00pm. Or, alternately, check out the Podcast at Garage Comedy.Check out the work of a young comic named Paul Rust. He’s amazing. True, I’ve only seen two of his bits, but they are the closest thing I’ve ever seen to actual genius.

Last night, I actually auditioned with Paul at UCB, for a harold team. Jim and Nic Wiger also auditioned in my group; all of us were called back for tonight. It would be an honor to be a part of the UCB family. I could finally get one of those imposing t-shirts.

211

I wish I could be at Boom with you guys.

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When I watched this, I thought of Matt Jones.

Click Me For a Fun Video.